My Central Perk

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http://heatherxiu.blogbus.com/logs/38333513.html

昨天晚上花了两个小时再看了遍电影Holiday。原因也是不怎么noble，为了完成语用学的作业。

不过在这个过程中，越来越喜欢Kate Winslet的英式发音，清新自然，不做作，热情可爱，成熟知性。她的演技更不用说了。她在电影中一直深爱着她的前夫，可是前夫却在和别的女人订婚后还一直缠绕在她身边。使得Kate一直陷入在一种深深的迷惑不解以及痛苦当中。

在其中有这样一段话，speaks to me.

“It turned out that he wasn't in love with me like I thought. What I'm trying to say is, I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible, and how it can actually ache in places that you didn't know you had inside you, and it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get or gyms you join or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends, you still go to bed every night going over every detail, and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell, for that brief moment, you could think that you were that happy? And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again, and little pieces of your soul will finally come back, and all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."

一个一个单词打出来的时候，才发觉原来是这么长的一段话语。当听到Kate用她漂亮的英音慢慢讲出的时候，是那么一气呵成和感动。其中的话，真的给那些在爱情中受伤的女孩看最合适了。

我想受伤了就大哭一场，畅快淋漓。不要痛在心里。那样太难受，太内向。

然后不要让自己特意去忘记某些事情，因为这样反而会增加它的存在感。我相信一些记忆是深入骨髓，under your skin，不可能立刻从记忆中拔出。越想去除，反而会更痛。不如不去动它，忽视它，知道最后它已经软化，随着你的血液，混淆在身体某处。

这些只能等时间让它慢慢淡化，淡出记忆。

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今天和同学聊天时候又提到了他。我已经很平静。寥寥几句解释了前因后果。而同学反应很激烈，她很为我愤愤不平。呵呵，我很感动。可是听着她将着那些，心里还是会有些痛。

如果想起某些人某些事，自己的记忆自然会呈现出一个画面。我经常会想起人们微笑着的画面。

其实现在想起他，也是那天，他提着一袋子水果，从阳光里走过来，微笑着叫我“美女”的样子。那次他笑得特别开心。

和他见面的时候，他有时候会很沉默，似乎掉进了自己的时空。只剩下我一个人MS自言自语。我似乎永远无法触及到他的内心。见面之后的冷淡又把我推得更远了。他还是孩子，没有安全感的孩子。就像他给我的短信里写的那样。我现在也仍然这样认为。

认识他是开心的。这是真的。不管结果如何。

今天做了个测试，说我是敏感的，会记住那些伤害过我的人。

这点很灵。确实是这样的。

从他这次突然的态度转变，删除我的一切信息，我开始回想我之前的日子。我被家人和朋友保护得太好了，以至于不知道什么是痛。所以我的反应才会如此强烈。所以我会记住他。the first one who hurts my feeling

已经过去一些时日了。我相信之后的日子会很好。至少比之前好一些。

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最近在听晨介绍的American Idol里面的Adam Lambert的歌。这个mad world我发现就是阿桑的疯了。整首歌没有什么高潮低潮，一直不断地重复吟唱那几句。是首好歌。

mad world

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going no where Going no where
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it’s a very very
Mad world Mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday Happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me
And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world Mad world
Mad world Mad world

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今天看到了JJX小时候和姑姑的照片，真的太可爱了。秀啊，你回归到那么小好了，这样我可以抱着你就看着你笑，一直笑……

从没有看到一个人的笑容可以纯真成这个样子。你真的是我的天使。

最近对东X有点冷感。但是你的一张照片就可以让我如此感慨。

孩子，多笑笑啊。我们大爱。

You are my sunshine.